This winter I was set to spend 4 months training to become a Musher in Iceland. A few years ago me and my (ex) boyfriend were saving money between us so that we could go and explore the stunning island, but we never actually made it there. Since then, it had been on my very long list of “things to do before I’m too old and decrepit”. So when I decided to leave my mountain exploration behind for a short while, I managed to land this, what one of my friends would describe as; “the coolest job in the world!”
I would get to play with Husky dogs, learn to run the sled and provide people with an experience they would never forget.
Except that one week in, I wasn’t convinced that this once-in-a-lifetime experience was for me.
So I left.
Now, I’m not writing this to give you a detailed account of the reasons why. But I will explain why I am confident that it is okay to admit defeat when you’re not happy.
I’d been in a similar situation once before when I was having second thoughts about the Degree I was halfway through studying. That realisation that actually no, this isn’t for me and the sudden urge to do something about it, wasn’t easy. In this current time when people are competing and struggling over finding a ‘proper’ job, who was I to suddenly turn round and say I was quitting my hard earned education?
All around me I heard the expected: you only have 2 years left, you might has well finish. Just think about the job at the end of it. What about all the debt you’re now in?
With the added pressure of friends and family around me and the personal need I felt to make them proud, listening to only myself (and what it was that I wanted) was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
But I did it. No part of me regrets the decision because so much has happened to me since and I often question, would they have if I had stayed to complete my degree, because I felt I should?
Jumping ahead 3 years and I found myself questioning the situation again. This time however, I was not working towards a well paid job, hell, I wasn’t even getting paid. What I had done though was tell almost everybody I knew about my upcoming adventure, had walked away from an incredibly enjoyable job in Italy, sacrificed relationships and had spent a lot of money in preparation. A lot was riding on me having the best time of my life..!
It was only a matter of days before I knew it wasn’t for me. Of course, the same burning questions in my head had me believing I should ride it out to avoid letting people down, to prevent myself from walking away from an opportunity of a lifetime.
In the end it boiled down to this; did I want to commit to 4 months of having an okay time, just so at the end of it I could say “when I was 24 I spent 4 months as a Musher in Iceland” in order to create the wow factor?
No actually, I don’t care about being cool.
What I care about is living a life that I enjoy. It’s a cliche, but it resonates truth; you only live once and that life is short.
Just because one thing doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean the next thing will not. In fact, the next thing might never happen unless you say goodbye to the first..
I suppose what I’m really trying to say is that tides have a way of changing and as long as you have a way of accepting that you can’t succeed in everything that you do, as long as you’re willing to give it a go and brave the leap, then things will always find a way of working out*.
* Blue Eyed View is not held responsible for any experience gained due to the reading of this article.